Chivalry, as the majority of us have noticed, is dying. What happened to holding the door open for others? I’d really like to know how this trend had developed and which group of morons started it. It’s not just holding doors, it’s also several recurring events that have labeled this generation as “douche bags.” I’d like to analyze some of the characteristics that go hand in hand with seeing a guy’s actions and referring to him as a douche bag. We see them every day. Some people like to judge guys that wear a polo and boat shoes as being a douche, but that’s just dressing nice and appropriate. It’s all in a guy’s attitude and the way one converses with a group of people that you can tell whether they have crossed the line. I’m trying not to make this a how-to guide on to not being a douche bag, but parts of this blog will go into tips to guys and even girls on what types of guys that are out there.
First off, nothing gets under my skin more than watching a guy walk into a building knowing there are people behind him and not even consider holding the door open. It’s common courtesy, people. Holding the door open for a girl says that the guy has a good set of manners and will for the most part get a “thank you” as a response, which could even spark a conversation with someone. Plus guys, it gives you an opportunity to check a girl out without it being obvious. Sure you might lose a spot in the lunch line, but in the end it will be worth it. You may think I’m being high and mighty, but this is something people talk about. I overhear people talk about it; believe me these conversations take place.
Secondly, using obscene profane language around girls is a definite no-no. The odds are that the girls won’t mention anything about it, but that’s just because girls are relatively nicer than guys about things like that. They are polite, and we should be just as considerate as they are. I mean sure there are certain girls that are cool with sex jokes and can talk as dirty as guys can, but to a certain extent it can get out of line. Degrading a woman’s intelligence and rights will get you absolutely nowhere. I’ve witnessed several guys get placed on the “do not associate with list” purely based on the fact that they do nothing but talk trash around girls. If you think I’m lying, observe the way a girl reacts and interacts with you after awhile after you say specific types of things over and over again. It gets old fast. Am I saying that you should never kid around and lose your cool every now and then? No, merely that you should maybe consider their feelings and think that they probably don’t want to compare talking to you as the equivalent of a Chris Rock stand up routine. Over confidence in your speech can also make you come across as a real tool. Sure it’s okay to state your opinions and talk about your day, but you always want to throw in a, “How was your day?” every now and then. In all honesty, nobody cares as much about your prizes and past experiences more than you. So instead of bragging about how good you were at something or speaking religiously about an experience that happened a long time ago, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider toning it down a notch.
Another thing, blaring rap music from your ’01 Chevy Malibu doesn’t make you a gangster-it makes you a douche bag. I have fallen victim to this before, so I know how the guy is feeling. You just want to get pumped up for going out with the guys, but you have to know your limits of being obnoxious. I’m sure the 30 year old mom next to you with her 3 year old child doesn’t want to listen to Lil’ Wayne’s new track. Respect comes into play in other areas than just in conversation. I’m not sure what it is about rap music that makes people feel the necessity to blast it in an excessive manner, but I know for a fact that I don’t want to hear it when I’m listening to some mellow acoustic rock and you are repping your “inner hood.” I do know for a fact that when walking across campus and it’s hard for me to hear what my friend is saying because your music is so loud will probably result in you being called a douche bag by a number of people. Let’s be honest people, nobody wants to hear it.
Now onto the more physically visible characteristics of being a douche bag; if you have to argue with yourself on whether to write a paper or go to the gym, you may want to take a look in the mirror. I understand that physical fitness is a very important aspect in people’s lives, but it can tend to get overdone. So your biceps are bigger than a baby’s cranium; that’s great, but I don’t want to hear your entire workout regimen while all I’m trying to do is eat lunch. I mean I know I like to stay in shape and look good for the ladies, but when there are more ripples on your body than a lake you have probably crossed the line. There are ways you can be buff and still not be a total douche about it, don’t get the wrong impression that you are a jerk if you work out. But degrading people that are smaller than you by saying that you could easily beat them up doesn’t make you tough, it just means that you are more physically fit than they are. Being tough and being strong don’t go hand in hand, so slow your roll.
Another characteristic is taking sports too seriously. I used to be the jock type guy who would always take a pick-up game of basketball or football to the next level emotionally. Being a hot head is never a good way to be around guys and especially girls. Guys will just make fun of you for being a wuss about whatever call went the wrong way and girls will label you as a guy who can’t keep their cool. They might question your ability to keep your cool in a relationship by comparing it to your emotions on the field. Being athletic is definitely a great way to stay in shape and maintain that sort of competitive edge you were used to in high school, but going all out with your balls out during intramurals will only make you look like a dick. So a word of advice, make sure you don’t treat intramural sports as your redemption for glory from your high school days.
In general, all of these characteristics are mainly seen in the younger generation. I don’t know what has made people feel so entitled to the way they are living their lives, but it greatly perplexes me to the point where I question whether or not I’m a douche bag just by association. We as a society also tend to overuse the term ‘douche bag.’ It seems like that’s the only derogatory name people call each other sometime, even though the person being called that has done absolutely nothing to deserve being called a douche bag. It goes along the same lines as the excessive use of the word “gay.” Now I know that calling some a douche bag isn’t as sensitive as people that call everything gay, no matter what happened. We as a society just tend to desensitize ourselves from basic manners and common courtesy. I guess on one hand we need to have some douche bags around so that people can better determine who the nice guys are these days. Let’s face it, having douche bags around makes it easier for certain types of girls fall for gentleman who respect them. So here’s to the douche bags for making life just a little bit more interesting.
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